NTNH CH.3

The Human World’s Office of Hell[B1]

Shang Que’s behavior was too natural and earnest. Yu Zhengdu had the dim sense that everything in front of him right then was nothing more than an illusion.

What should have been a terrifying atmosphere instead had an indescribable sense of humor. Yu Zhengdu thought he ought to be reverently fearful, but try as he might he really couldn’t. After looking at Shang Que for a long time, he asked “what type of organization are you?”

“To put it in layman’s terms…” Shang Que thought for a moment before replying, “This could be regarded as the Underworld’s Office on the Human Realm Location[B2] .

Yu Zhengdu was stunned. “The underworld?”

“Ng[B3] , the one that you’re thinking of right now,” Shang Que nodded to his door, “let’s discuss it more in private.”

The two of them moved to Shang Que’s office, Shang Que taking a seat before his face changed color suddenly. “Wait a minute,” he told Yu Zhengdu.

After saying that his fingers flit across the computer keyboard like a fly, slamming the keys in a frenzy of ‘clack clack clack’. After some time his face relaxed and he said indignantly,

“Damn it, someone took advantage of me idling and killed me[B4] .”

“……” Yu Zhengdu echoed his sentiments with no emotion. “So despicable.”

Shang Que turned his head to look at him, “Are you able to write a plug-in[B5] ? I want to chase him down the ends of the earth.”

Yu Zhengdu slowly gave a suggestion, “Go right now and have your ghost staff scare him.”

Shang Que: “……”

He turned back to his game and pretended that nothing happened. “Let’s get down to business, hmm?”

Yu Zhengdu fixed his clothes and sat up straight, with rapt[B6] attention.

“To put it simply, our company is the underworld.” Shang Que didn’t beat around the bush, speaking seriously. “We’re what humans know as the world after death, in charge of the six paths of reincarnation. Responsible for judging the previous actions of the dead, and deciding where those in the underworld should go for their next life. “

Yu Zhengdu had started hiccupping in shock. Out of the corner of his eye he looked around again at the simple and bare office. There was a heavy suspicion about what his boss said but he still pointed his finger to the ground and said “The underworld…… isn’t is underground?”

Shang Que crossed his legs gracefully and said “That matter can be traced back to around fifty years ago.”

Ever since Pangu created the heavens and the earth, Chaos [B7] had been divided into three sections. Heaven served as the realm of the gods, the earth was the realm of the spirits, and in between heaven and earth was under the influence of mankind.

The three boundaries and six realms existed mainly through the power of spiritual force and belief. But as time passed by, the supernatural influence had gotten weaker with each passing day. The heaven and earth needed a lot of spiritual power to maintain their stability, and in this modern age their foundations had become shaky. Still some human faith remained, albeit with great difficulty.

“Until fifty years ago,” after saying that, Shang Que paused with a glance, and Yu Zhengdu instinctively knew that time in history was one of great importance.

He couldn’t refrain from leaning forward a bit, and his voice became a bit excited. “What happened fifty [B8] years ago?”

Shang Que’s gaze was deep and he said “Fifty years ago the whole world was going through drastic sociopolitical changes, and the humans shifted their attention away from the three realms. For the heaven and earth who were on the verge of collapse, this was like pulling the rug from out under them when they were already down……”

Without the faith of the people, heaven and earth collapsed. No joss paper or incense [B9] was received from humans and the bode of immortals and the world of the dead fell into ruin together.

Even though the underworld had disappeared, business continued on as usual. Humans kept being born and dying, old age and illness rampant in the world. Only now after death they would remain as ghosts in the human world, reincarnation depending solely on their luck.

The six paths or reincarnation had become a place of chaos and turmoil.

When that had all began, the good spirits were bullied and the bad spirits took the advantage to go make trouble from time to tome.

“The only way to solve this issue is to reopen the underworld. Unfortunately the underworld has collapsed and disappeared. The only option now is to rent out offices in the human world to carry out the work.” Shang Que smiled and leaned forward, patting the back of Yu Zhengdu’s hand soothingly. “Don’t worry though, our company has completed the proper procedures. We pay our taxes each year and will not owe you any wages.”

Yu Zhengdu: “……”

He had received too much information in too little a time and wasn’t sure how he should react. After some time, he asked with dull eyes “So you’re telling me that the fall of heaven and earth was due to social upheaval?”

Shang Que thought for a while before saying “I wouldn’t say it that way, the social upheaval was just the last straw on the camels back.”

Yu Zhengdu sat there stunned[B10] . Then he said “did you know I received full marks in my natural sciences exam?”

“Introduction to Development of Natural Sciences?” Shang Que nodded, showing much admiration. “Lingxi gave me your transcript to look at, it’s very well done.”

A long sigh of relief escaped Yu Zhengdu, his voice rejoiceful. “Lucky for me I’m graduation soon. If I had to complete that course after now, I’d most likely bomb [B11] the course.”

Judging from how his belief in materialism [B12] was shattered into powder just now, he figured he wouldn’t be able to face an exam covering the scientific approach to development.

Being a ghost, Shang Que has a fine temper, though it may just be because he didn’t want to scare away a hard-to-hire programmer. He patiently explained the nature of Luofeng Life Management to Yu Zhengdu but nothing more.

“Take it slowly for now, we’ll talk more about work tomorrow,” Shang Que showed Yu Zhengdu to the door[B13] .

Yu Zhengdu got up dizzily. Before leaving he turned his head and asked “Wait, if this is the Underworld’s Office, then are you not…?”

He looked at the face that could throw wool over the eyes of the public [B14] without the need for ghostly magic, amazed at it all. “Are you the king of hell?”

Shang Que looked disgusted. “Of course I’m not.”

“……then who are you?”

Shang Que: “I’m the legal representative for the company.”

Yu Zhengdu couldn’t help but complain “There’s a ghost representative?”

Shang Que saw his dumbfounded appearance and realized “you’re asking about my previous identity?”

He gave a small smile, “A thousand years ago, those who made sacrifices to me usually called me the Ghost King of Luofeng Mountain.”

Yu Zhengdu walked out of the office and saw more than a dozen of his coworkers had their heads stretched out of their desks, eyes filled with gossip. The one named Kang Jin asked weakly “New person, did you find everything out?”

Yu Zhengdu looked at them expressionlessly. “You’re all ghosts?”

As soon as he said that, he saw the colleagues tense expressions melt as they nodded one after the other “Yes yes, we are.”

Kang Jin gave a great sigh of relief, “It’s a good thing you know, it’s really not easy for me to pretend to be a human otherwise.” He said this while holding his head with both hands. “I was so scared that my head fell off.”

Yu Zhengdu cut in hurriedly, “stop that right now!!!!”

Kang Jin looked towards him dazed.

Yu Zhengdu said with no small amount of alarm “Don’t take your head off, I can’t deal with that.”

Kang Jin: “……I only meant to straighten my wig out.”

He was somewhat aggrieved. “Laoban doesn’t like bald employees.”

If he was given the choice, Yu Zhengdu really didn’t want to work with ghosts. Although Shang Que solemnly vowed they were the normal sort, ghosts were still ghosts in the end!

But he currently had no say. According to Shang Que, the labor contract he signed with Luofeng was like one between a human and a ghost. Because it was between him and the underworld, it couldn’t be broken easily or else he might get backlash.

The most important part is that this company claims to be responsible for managing people’s reincarnation after death. Although it sounds like a scam, if it’s true and Yu Zhengdu decided to pat his ass [B15] and leave, they would get their revenge on him in a hundred-so years. Maybe he’d be reincarnated into a chicken, or a duck, or something like that.

Yu Zhengdu went back to his desk with a sigh.

Unexpectedly the class WeChat was still going strong, looking closely it was mostly Hou Guangzong talking.

Hou Guangzong: [Y’know, Xinxing isn’t as much as a big-wig as they want people to think.]

Hou Guangzong: [There’s a lot of talented people though. A pity we can’t fight for the position.]

Hou Guangzong: [Which company does Zhengdu work for now? It’s certainly more

outstanding than Xinxing, eh?]

Hou Guangzong: [@yuzhengdu, tell everyone here how the situations like at your new company.]

Hou Guangzong: [Zhengdu is too stingy, what’s there to hide?]

Hou Giangzong: [@yuzhengdu]

Raising his head, Yu Zhengdu looked at his new coworkers. After they had their true identities revealed they had obviously relaxed both physically and mentally. One of them had floated directly to their coworker’s desk, “Can you help? Take a look at this excel formula, how should it be set up?”

Yu Zhengdu: “……”

Forget it, it’s fine. So long as they didn’t turn their heads in a complete 360.

Yu Zhengdu: [En, the new company is interesting[B16] . Pretty powerful.]

Yu Zhengdu: [The kind that can scare people to death, smile.jpg]

……

Yu Zhengdu started his work at Luofeng. After some days he was able to find out more information. For example, this company that calls itself the bureau of the underworld, who controls what happens to those after death…… it’s extremely broke. When Shang Que said the company saved up money to hire him, it turned out to be true.

The so-called ‘business volume increase’ referred to the implementation of the two-child policy[B17] , leading to an increase of births, not actually an increase in revenue.

Yu Zhengdu: “……”

His coworkers in the poor company all agreed they couldn’t be blamed for their lack of money, they could only be blamed for not accepting joss paper or else the boss would probably be the richest man in the world.

That logic was too watertight, and Yu Zhengdu couldn’t refute it.

The only human currency they received came from those who mistakenly thought the company did career planning, personal health management and other things of that nature.

Every day, Yu Zhengdu worried for his salary.

At noon he went to the cafeteria to eat alone. Since the development location was in a weird location there were only a few restaurants located nearby at first. In order to attract more businesses, the Science and Technology Park opened their first floor to use as a public cafeteria. As a member of Luofeng, Yu Zhengdu went to the cafeteria every day.

He had just finished a good meal when three girls came over holding a plate, the one in the middle who had ear-length hair waved to him. She smiled shyly, “Hello, I’ve often seen you eat here alone.”

Thinking for a bit, Yu Zhengdu recalled that he seemed to have bump into them before, and that they sometimes snuck looks at him.

Yu Zhengdu was taught well as a child and was used to this kind of situation. He smiled and said “Hello, you three must eat here often, don’t you?”

The girl on the right exchanged glances with the girl who had short hair and said with a faked anger “What’s the problem, obviously we’re only two people.”

The girl on the right also said “You’re too bad, ahh, meeting face to face is scary.”

A sudden chill made its way down Yu Zhengdu’s back, and he felt a white hair grow in.

---

ParaguayJay: So nevermind, update schedule is shit, all I know is come back on sundays and ntnh and wpmpc will have at least 2 updates each. also I have no clue what that last bit of dialogue was and I'm so pissed because it's easy to read but the meaning like idfk it seems to be literal from my research.

[B1]A smoother way to say this would be 'hell's headquarters on the human realm' but that's a bit long for a chapter heading so I'll figure it out when I go over it tonight. [B2]This is such a sucky way to say this but like it's basically hell co. earth campus. [B3]Ng, en, un, an interjection that can be seen as an agreement. Similar to mhmm [B4]'hang up' was used, which is slang for when you leave your game afk in the background. So now we know what our adorable boss has been doing the whole time…... [B5]'waigua' can mean a plug in, add on, external feature but in gaming terms usually refers to an unauthorized mod. He wants YZD to make him software that can be used to cheat in-game [B6]Two idioms here, meaning straighten clothes and properly sit, and wash ears respectful listening, or 'I'm all ears' [B7]Many notes, many notes: first off Pangu is the creator of the universe in Chinese Mythology, separating the heavens and earth from each other. Hundun, or Chaos, is the primeval state it was in before Pangu changed it, hence the capitalization. It has a similarity with Greek and Christianity creation myths (and probably many others) with the primordial soup being separated into the realms of god and man. There are differences of course but that turns into a comp religions lecture that sounds super fun for discussion but not here ahaha. [B8]History Time with JieJie! So as you all know this is set around 2018, approximately 50 years before that was when China had it's cultural revolution, headed by Mao Zedong. To put it frankly, it was ass. To be more tactful, it was a time of great upheaval and violence with a death count that ranges from hundreds of thousands to millions because nobody could really tell you who exactly died. In the case of the story it's important to note that one of the goals of the cultural revolution was to cement communism and that meant stamping out any traditional elements of Han culture. Keep in mind that it was already hard due to the ending of the Qing Dynasty (which could be attributed to opium wars between britain and hong kong, and later japan taking advantage of china's weakened state) so chinese tradition had been on the fall for a few decades already and then yeah the cultural revolution kinda just gave it the final smack down the proverbial staircase. This all needs more nuance and there's plenty more I want to say but it turned into a rant at first and then into hetalia so I decided to call it a night. tl;dr, cultural revolution fucked up the underworld so they had to move locations. [B9]Joss paper, or hell money, is paper money burnt for dead relatives usually on birthdays and holidays like the qingming festival. Incense can also be used for ancestors or the gods. [B10]So uh, this statement was the exact wording as the previous "too much info, not sure how to react" one, I thought it was a typo at first but it doesn't seem to be, then I thought it might be writing technique but it looks stiff in english, especially as it doesn't have any more repitition after this. So I kinda just cut it in half and used half for the first question YZD asked and the other half for the second. [B11]YZD says 'hang', which is slang used for saying they failed an exam [B12]Not materialistic, which is 'I want shit' but materialism, which is the philosophical belief that things which can be proven to exist physically is the only reality. (technically physical matter, but it includes particles that can't be held physically but are proven to exist, like neurons, electrons, atoms etc. does not include metaphysical/ spiritual, though there may be millennia of people claiming it to be true it's supposed they either imagined it or it's some sensation we don't have the current technology to fully discover.) [B13]Technically a better translation would be 'kicked out' but that sounds a bit rude in english [B14]Idiom idiom, this time it's confusing the minds of the public, pulling the wool over is an equivalent [B15]Another saying, 'pat his ass and leave' meaning making oneself scarce, or (in certain cases) hauling ass [B16]Yu Zhengdu uses '特別', or tèbié, which can mean special, especially or unusual. It's a bit of a play on where he could either mean the company is particularly outstanding, or that it's kinda odd. It was too hard for my brain to make it just one statement so I used the word interesting which has different connotations depending on the tone we use it. [B17]History Time with JieJie: the one child policy lasted from 1980 and 2015 when it was stopped due to the declining population and the fact that there was an awkward amount of boys to girls in china. I'm not sure how much knowledge of china's 1 child law is common but from the amount of death from both infanticide and orphanage abuse you would think that hell was pretty busy during that period with a bunch of ghost babies. China kept that under lock and key, due to fear of losing face. Now most of those children who were placed in orphanages because of the 1child law have grown up and china isn't really doing much to help them reunite. I'm assuming most of you are in america/canada/uk, so chances are you've probably met a TRA from china who was a result of that time. (and though it only counted for the han majority, that still is most of china, whether they actually are han or they had grandparents who claimed han ethnicity because they thought they would receive benefits. And still there was plenty of trafficking regardless of ethnicity so safe to say it heavily affected an entire generation.) Anyways history lesson aside, this takes place around 2018, when the one child law had just been abolished so there would be a business boom for SQ and YZD in like 80 years.